NDEO鈥檚 Guest Blog Series features posts written by our members about their experiences in the fields of dance and dance education. We continue this series with a post by Wendy Masterson, MSME/T, RSDE, MFA. Guest posts reflect the experiences, opinions, and viewpoints of the author and are printed here with their permission. NDEO does not endorse any business, product, or service mentioned in guest blog posts. If you are interested in learning more about the guest blogger program or submitting an article for consideration, please click here.
A few years ago, a group of women met and began sharing their stories as dance educators living with cancer. Each brought deep insight and affirmation that dance has played a significant role supporting personal and professional growth while facing the challenges of diagnosis, surgery, and recovery from cancer; and in processing the experience through artistic, somatic, and pedagogical explorations. As a collective, this group shared discussion, writing, and movement sessions within the group and with larger communities. We will be sharing our discoveries at the 2023 NDEO Conference through a panel discussion, Cancer as Catalyst: Unexpected Leadership, and a movement exploration, Cancer as Dancing Partner.
Our research revolved around the relationships of self/other, communication, medical practices and our professional lives as teachers/choreographers/performers with extensive dance training. The similarity yet diversity of our experiences with cancer helped us to clarify that our pathways were neither right nor wrong, sometimes based on fear, but always with the potential to deepen intrinsic knowledge of our selves. Our experiences acted as a catalyst in exploring the effects of cancer on people who identify themselves through their ability to move and express themselves through that movement. Cancer diagnosis was only the first step of many to come. The physical, emotional, and spiritual recovery lasts a lifetime.
Concepts from our experiences, like the folding and reweaving of choreography, are below.
Partnership
鈥淒ancers learn to express through movement on the most diminutive levels then expand expression through space and time sharing with audiences, strangers. We challenge our psyche, emotions, intellect, physical processes, and our spiritual beings every day, for years. Vulnerability and resiliency become one. Our art defines who we become, who we become defines our art--a symbiotic relationship. We are the instrument, the explorer, the risk taker. The same analogy can be drawn when living with cancer.
I am grateful to be a dancer, for the arts鈥� teachings, and for having cancer as my lifetime dancing partner. Both have led to deep questioning, listening, improvising, and emerging. People living with cancer are their own instrument for exploration and discovery. In this context, cancer becomes the muse, the teacher, the guide. Can I perceive cancer as a muse? How can I approach a cancer experience as a choreographer? Can I create a beneficial and reciprocal relationship?鈥� 鈥� Wendy Masterson
Process
鈥淚 had to leap into the treatment process without much preparation. It was full-on improvisation and instinct for me. This role was more complicated than any before and the urgency put extra pressure on me and my doctors. Looking back, I can see that I approached it as a creative and dynamic process while my doctors were bound to scientific methods with standardized treatment and enormous expectations of themselves to save my life. I wanted our work to be collaborative, an ensemble creating together. But it felt more like a tango: they were the medical professionals with knowledge and experience I did not have; and I, too, held knowledge because it was my body, and I was the one living with the cancer. I struggled to maintain my footing but held firmly to the premise that my body is intelligent and holds valuable information.鈥� 鈥揗isti Galvan
Rhythm
鈥溾�he culmination of these challenges was beyond my capacity. I mourned the loss of my dancer self every day of treatment. In fact, I felt like a shell version of myself for the entire year after treatment ended with diminished creativity, mobility, and motivation. There is learning here about pace and rhythm. I can see that I need to honor the rhythms of this life now informed by cancer and let my body cue the pace of my work. As it is, I am doing the choreography too fast, trying to do more steps than might fit. The dance of my life is not clear or fully embodied. It is chaotic, messy, and overwhelming. Am I overcompensating for the time I feel I missed out on? Trying to make up for the uninspired work of the past year?鈥� -Ruth Arena
Breath
鈥溾�� After my mastectomy I realized my years of dance and body-mind studies prepared me for this physical and mental trauma. I uncovered a somatic resiliency that is so profound, and that before this experience I didn鈥檛 truly know its full power. I had found superpowers. I knew how to prepare, practice, and train my body and mind. I understood the anatomical and kinesthetic properties of the body. I knew how to block out fear and go inward to find calm. I was able to be fluid, and in the moment. I knew how to trust my intuition and adapt to each setback. I knew how to breathe. In these high stress moments, breath was the only thing I had control of, and I found ways to harness it.鈥� -Meghan McLyman
Space
鈥溾�s dancers, we often become consumed with how we occupy space, be it with our bodies or with a grouping of bodies in choreography. We learn to compartmentalize the negative and focus on the task at hand, working phrase by phrase, section by section through our days. This theme carried throughout my treatment journey. I divided my space between chemo days and teaching days. I let movement with my students fill the space on those days rather than revealing the wear and tear of the drugs on my soul. I shared the motivating aspects of my journey, separating away the emotional and mental effects. I powered on, refusing to let myself stand still or rest, and filled the 3-dimensional void with dance鈥�. 鈥揂manda Clark
Dance Educators Living with Cancer, originated by Dr. Doug Risner, Meghan McLyman, and Ruth Arena is a multi-faceted group of educators and explorers. The process that emerged from our group has provided support, guidance, and an opportunity to share the magnitude of living with cancer through grace, resilience, trust, and our love of being dance educators and artists.
Wendy Masterson, MFA Ballet, holds credentials as a Body-Mind Centering庐 Practitioner, MSME/T, IDME, RSDE and GYROTONIC庐/ GYROKINESIS庐 Pre-Trainer. Her fifty-year career includes working with prestigious organizations such as Interlochen Arts Academy, Vail International Dance Festival, and Kinesthetic Learning Center while also serving as Treasurer of Body-Mind Centering Association. Wendy has presented at several IADMS, ISMETA, and BMCA conferences on the integration of somatics with dance pedagogy/artistry and has published articles on somatics, development, and education. She is the owner of The Motion Space where she provides movement therapy sessions, fitness classes, GYROTONIC庐 training courses, and Reiki certification courses. Wendy is currently serving as President of Montana Dance Arts Association. Themotionspace.com
Photo Credits; both photos by D. Townsend